*fighting with myself – A battle within*

I am staring at the blank walls of my room and suddenly they seem so interesting. A body lotion bottle was resting on the table lying next to me and I was reading every single word written on it. Killing time – is what it is called. Ghosh!! I am such a waste of life.

Adrian used to call me a lot before and suddenly the frequency has died. Actually it dies a slow painful death and I am completely responsible for it. I did everything that was in my reach to soil this marriage. Oh yes!! Adrian is my husband. Why? I don’t know…Or maybe I do! Since when did I started behaving like a teenage girl entering chat rooms and talking to random boys?

No! My encounter with Ashton was not that cheap. Did I just called chat rooms cheap??? Yes!!! THEY ARE CHEAP!!! Dating sites comes even prior to it!! We met in a classy way! LOL!! Yes I call that classy. I started talking to a guy who commented below my post which spoke about my love for animals. Me, Veronica, a 100% vegetarian and the guy who swept me off my feet, Ashton, a 100% non-vegetarian. Amazing combination, isn’t it? Today I was so lost in my thoughts that I tripped the bathroom floor and I fell down. My girlfriend was in my room that time and she started laughing. I felt like calling Harry, all the way to Hogwarts and ask him to lend me his invisible cloak for some time. Where was I lost? Of course in Ashton and in Adrian. That makes me look like a slut but no!! That’s love, pure love!!

Sitting on my comfy bed with a phone cradled in my hands I dialed his number for almost 20 times and disconnected before it could connect to him. I am talking about Ashton!! LOL, I know it’s quite confusing and believe me that’s exactly how I feel at the moment. Instead of being a faithful wife, I am being a bitch but not my fault. Adrian literally pushed me towards the edge.

Those are odd hours of the day when I perform this activity of fidgeting my phone. I definitely don’t wanna look stupid. Ghosh!!!! I did the same thing yesterday night and I kept changing sides throughout the night, unable to get an eye shut even for a second. Damn!! I should have called him when I wanted to. I need something to soothe my burning soul at that hour of night!! My hands itched to grab the phone once again and I refrained myself from doing so. And then I had to literally sing myself a lullaby so that my brain could go in peaceful slumber sleep.

-Veronica

 

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